Half Way Point

I can not believe that summer school is nearly half over. This is decidedly the most challenging "job" I have ever held.

Our morning class seems more manageable now, and a few students have been dropped or moved from that class. We only really struggle with about five students in that class, but most mornings feel productive. I am now finally understanding the procedure for handling disciplinary problems, although I'll admit that when faced with a particularly defiant child, I am tempted to lose my cool and march them down to the office rather than calmly going though the steps. Sometimes I wonder how many times am I supposed to be expected to repeat myself and wait for the child to follow directions when they are clearly not intending to EVER comply, but then I remind myself that many of these children are not used to structure or high expectations for good behavior in the first place.

Our afternoon class continues to be the most challenging. I think the ratio is completely backwards to the AM class, with about five children that actually do their work and follow directions. Several mentors have been in and out of the classroom to observe and help with the afternoon class. To me, it still feels like we are spending all of our time practicing lining up, pushing chairs in, walking quietly, raising hands, not putting down another classmate, not showing displays of temper, keeping our hands, feet, and objects to ourselves, etc, etc. With all of this behavior management going on, the students are not learning anything academic, which is the sole reason for their enrollment in summer school in the first place. One of the girls does not even seem to know what sounds all the letters of the alphabet make. She carefully copies what the teacher writes on the board, but can only read a handful of the simplest words. I am worried that she (and the rest of the class) will not be getting the help they need if the overall disruption continues. The teacher and I have began to plan an intervention with her specifically, which includes removing her from the classroom to begin reviewing basic phonic skills. I'm excited about this.

Our tutor also continues to be a challenge. Last week he missed three days of work. He claimed that for two of the days he didn't know we had school because of the July 4th holiday, and the third was because he was sick. However, he didn't call the office or the teacher to make excuse. He doesn't seem to know what is expected of him in the classroom, let alone what is expected of him at a place of employment. The teacher spoke to him and he is better now about not taking an extra long lunch and he stays through his shift to the very end instead of leaving the moment the kids exit the classroom to board the bus, but he still seems generally clueless, which doesn't help with running the classroom efficiently.

Today I learned that they plan to pull all the retention students that need special attention in reading and place them with the VISTAs for one-on-one time. This pleases me greatly. I am excited to take on this new challenge and get to the heart of making a difference!

I'll admit, when I volunteered at my children's school, the thought of being a para-professional really intimidated me. I can't say that it does anymore. I now know I have the strength to work with challenging kids. My only regret right now is that at the end of the day, I don't feel like I have the energy to give to my own children. I find myself wanting quiet solitude, and working at mustering the desire to read to them. I hear myself continuing to use my "teacher" voice: "Is that a smart choice?" "What did I ask you to do?" "What should you be doing right now?" Not that parenting isn't a form of teaching, but right now if feels as if there is not much of a separation between my role as a teacher in the classroom and my role as a mother in the home. Except that I also do dishes and laundry.