"Open House"

Today we had an open house. Four children had parents that showed up. This could have been in for any number of reasons of course, so I'm trying not to judge here, However, the "open house" was like none I have ever seen before. The parents basically just sat there and watched the teacher try to lead the class. I say "try", because again, most of the time was spent trying to manage behavior. I feel as if I have turned into the "bad cop." And the tutor seems lost most of the time.

The PM class was even more rowdy and unmanageable. I could not get them into a straight line to enter the building after recess. They were all over the place, running past me to the doors, shoving others in line...ahhh! There are just too many of them! And all the normal threats and incentives don't seem to work! For a while I was offering candy (yes, I stooped that low) for following directions. It didn't seem to motivate the unruly kids much at all. If they listened, it would be until they got the candy, then the old behavior returned. Several kids said they didn't care, didn't want candy, had their own candy, and so on. Threatening them with a visit to the behavior specialist seems to work most of the time, but when someone does finally go to the specialist, they get sent back after a short while because the administration is focused keeping them in the classroom, placing the highest priority on their education. After returning to the classroom, often the behavior continues later. Even calling the child's parent doesn't work. Some parents simply are not reachable, or fail to return phone calls. In a meeting this week we were told that we needed to show the progress in each child's learning, regardless of how much time they were in "time-out" or even if they had failed to show up the majority of the time. If there was no indication of progress in education, it only reflected poorly on the staff. It was never the child's fault if he or she was not learning. Of course I wasn't about to be the only one raising their hand to argue, but I could tell this really discouraged the teacher I am working with. She says aloud repeatedly after the children leave "they won't listen to me. I must suck as a teacher." Lately she's even gone as far as to question whether or not she should continue teaching, when a week and a half ago she was telling me how much she loved it, even though it was hard. At this point, I think she doesn't see any improvement, as well as not feeling the support of the administration, even though they say they are there to support us.

After we switched classes with the other teacher, two of the parents proceeded down to that classroom where they took part in an altercation with each other in the classroom, over a pencil. Apparently one mother told the other that their child needed to keep their hands off her child's pencil...when it was only a stray pencil in the first place. The mothers began to interact inappropriately with each other, and would not leave the classroom when asked. The principal was called, and by the time he arrived, the ladies had just stepped out of the room. No one I talked to knows what happened after that, but it leads one to shake one's head and muse no wonder these kids act the way they do...

Probably the hardest part of today though, was receiving this picture from a boy (I'll call him Daniel) in the midst of the chaos of the afternoon. Of course he was supposed to be writing when he drew this, and of course he jumped out of his seat to give it to me when he was supposed to be sitting with his head down. But I couldn't reprimand him for it - the picture broke my heart. It broke my heart because even after getting in trouble today, being threatened with a behavior reference by me - even missing recess time! - this boy drew this with me in mind. I remembered how he followed me around the playground even after being encouraged to "go play." He finally tossed a ball at me carelessly when I wasn't paying attention so that I had to duck. He laughed, taunting me because I was "scared" just before the whistle blew for lunch. It struck me after seeing this that he may have had no one else to play with. Is it possible that I can make a difference in his life simply by being there to catch a ball at recess?

Half Way Point

I can not believe that summer school is nearly half over. This is decidedly the most challenging "job" I have ever held.

Our morning class seems more manageable now, and a few students have been dropped or moved from that class. We only really struggle with about five students in that class, but most mornings feel productive. I am now finally understanding the procedure for handling disciplinary problems, although I'll admit that when faced with a particularly defiant child, I am tempted to lose my cool and march them down to the office rather than calmly going though the steps. Sometimes I wonder how many times am I supposed to be expected to repeat myself and wait for the child to follow directions when they are clearly not intending to EVER comply, but then I remind myself that many of these children are not used to structure or high expectations for good behavior in the first place.

Our afternoon class continues to be the most challenging. I think the ratio is completely backwards to the AM class, with about five children that actually do their work and follow directions. Several mentors have been in and out of the classroom to observe and help with the afternoon class. To me, it still feels like we are spending all of our time practicing lining up, pushing chairs in, walking quietly, raising hands, not putting down another classmate, not showing displays of temper, keeping our hands, feet, and objects to ourselves, etc, etc. With all of this behavior management going on, the students are not learning anything academic, which is the sole reason for their enrollment in summer school in the first place. One of the girls does not even seem to know what sounds all the letters of the alphabet make. She carefully copies what the teacher writes on the board, but can only read a handful of the simplest words. I am worried that she (and the rest of the class) will not be getting the help they need if the overall disruption continues. The teacher and I have began to plan an intervention with her specifically, which includes removing her from the classroom to begin reviewing basic phonic skills. I'm excited about this.

Our tutor also continues to be a challenge. Last week he missed three days of work. He claimed that for two of the days he didn't know we had school because of the July 4th holiday, and the third was because he was sick. However, he didn't call the office or the teacher to make excuse. He doesn't seem to know what is expected of him in the classroom, let alone what is expected of him at a place of employment. The teacher spoke to him and he is better now about not taking an extra long lunch and he stays through his shift to the very end instead of leaving the moment the kids exit the classroom to board the bus, but he still seems generally clueless, which doesn't help with running the classroom efficiently.

Today I learned that they plan to pull all the retention students that need special attention in reading and place them with the VISTAs for one-on-one time. This pleases me greatly. I am excited to take on this new challenge and get to the heart of making a difference!

I'll admit, when I volunteered at my children's school, the thought of being a para-professional really intimidated me. I can't say that it does anymore. I now know I have the strength to work with challenging kids. My only regret right now is that at the end of the day, I don't feel like I have the energy to give to my own children. I find myself wanting quiet solitude, and working at mustering the desire to read to them. I hear myself continuing to use my "teacher" voice: "Is that a smart choice?" "What did I ask you to do?" "What should you be doing right now?" Not that parenting isn't a form of teaching, but right now if feels as if there is not much of a separation between my role as a teacher in the classroom and my role as a mother in the home. Except that I also do dishes and laundry.

Monday

This is the hardest job I have had so far in my lifetime. I come home at the end of the day emotionally drained. My level of respect for teachers has risen dramatically.

Our first day was chaotic, to say the least. Not unlike a regular first day of school, where no one quite knows where they are supposed to be or what they are supposed to be doing. Mix-ups and names to learn. But add to that the typical behavioral dysfunctions multiplied by ten. Or one hundred.

Our first class of the morning has one boy who clearly wants to run the show and was very uncooperative. The second class of the morning has two boys who constantly talk trash to each other and have to be physically restrained, a boy who is very hyper, and another boy who will not participate in any activity but loudly draws attention to himself by any means. One little girl has a very serious attitude problem and no qualms about trying to get other kids in trouble. Add to this a different girl who is either having trouble understanding the language because she has an auditory problem, or English is her second language. Needless to say, it will definitely be a challenge this summer to teach anything.

For the first exercise of the day, the teacher had them each create a self portrait and write something about themselves. Here's mine:

The kids seemed to really like this activity. It was a way for her to get a feel for their abilities right away.

For the second exercise she placed an orchid in the front of the room and asked the class to write as much as they could about it. Some children wrote sentences, others lists, and still others drew a picture of the flower because they simply didn't want to write. There was no way right or wrong way to complete this exercise; it was, again, a way for the teacher to assess their style and level. If you are picturing a quiet classroom, studying a flower and writing their thoughts, you are picturing a classroom other than ours. During the midst of this assignment, there were several boys who were declaring how much they hated flowers and wanted to crush them, pencils continually fell off desks, desks were being opened an shut randomly for unknown reasons, and other children were continually asking how to spell each and every word. It sounded so much easier when they presented the curriculum to us in training!

One thing that stood out to me right away about a few of the kids was how physical they were. Not so much that they were constantly touching each other (kids tend to do that) but that several of them were quick to hug and hang on me, a virtual stranger. They want to wrestle with the tutor, and poor guy...I can tell he has no idea what to do!

My heart goes out to the teacher as she struggles to find her footing, gain control of the class and actually teach. I want to support her, but I am not sure how she wants me to go about doing that. I don't want to usurp her or clash with her teaching style. I'm hoping to unite as more of a team by the end of the week. I think the most difficult thing for all of us is the switching of the classrooms mid-morning. Getting a whole new group of kids takes a big chunk out of instructional time and seems to wind them up. As the week continues and we (hopefully) settle into a routine, I pray the switching won't be so hard on everyone.

Bringing You Up To Speed - A Rather Dry Post

After being unemployed for nearly a year, I secured a position as a VISTA. A local organization was hiring associates to help in the public school summer education program, and the funding was provided through AmeriCorps. AmeriCorps is the domestic version of the Peace Corps. I will be serving as a Volunteer In Service To America for 8 weeks, and I am not allowed to hold any other job during this time. I receive a living allowance and a stipend for grad school or to pay off loans. Because the position is only for 8 weeks, I am hoping the experience will lead to a full time position within the organization that interviewed me, or a year-long position as a VISTA, performing a different task. Grad school is also on the horizon, so I have some big decisions coming up for this fall!


My job this summer is to assist the teacher in and out of the classroom with the children and anything related to the summer education program. We will be working with about 40 first graders, most of whom are being considered for retention. Our subject is ELA; other teaching professionals are teaching Math. Not all 40 of the students will be in the class at the same time. Instead, part way through the day, they will be switching classrooms.

My training was a little less than two weeks in length. I got certified in CPR and swore to uphold and protect the constitution of the United States. Several days covered policies and procedures, and then we finally got paired up with the teachers and support staff and were introduced to the curriculum.

I was excited to meet my colleges. The teacher for our classroom is fresh out of college and this is her first teaching job aside from some subbing and title 1 teaching. She's a cute little thing, nervous and excited about the summer education program. I can tell that she feels a lot of pressure to teach the kids everything they need to go on to second grade in a very short period of time. We only have 6 weeks to make a difference.

Our para-pro is 18. He got this job because his dad has connections. His dad wanted him to have a "real job." He said he didn't even want it at first, but now he is starting to get more excited. There was a little hiccup when they discovered he hadn't yet had two years of college and couldn't be considered as a para-pro. He is now known as an "instructional tutor." I don't think he is very happy about that.

I have to digress a moment and talk about the tutor. This kid as gone more places and done more things in his short life then I anyone else I know. He obviously has come from money, and I believe working with these students is going to be a real eye-opener for him. At least I hope to goodness it is. Friday he confessed to us that he thought the summer education program was for kids whose parents had paid for them to take a summer enrichment program. We were all like "nope." He was completely surprised to learn that I didn't have a dishwasher. And he couldn't fathom having only one bathroom for a family of four. I can't wait to see how this experience impacts him.

Later, we were assigned a different para-pro, the only one among us who is experienced with this public school system and the summer education program. Alas, it looks like we will be losing her since we already have three people for our classroom and some people only have one.

Our first day in the classroom was a lot of work. Everything was dirty and there was no space to store our materials. The teacher who uses that classroom during the regular school year had all her drawers and cabinets locked, and all the shelves covered over with paper. Although I don't blame her, this was not helpful. Some furniture got moved into the classroom for us, and it too was dirty and dated. There was no carpet on the floor. Sadly, I imagined the children at "circle time" and independent reading time, sitting on the cold, hard tile floor in their shorts and flip flops. My own ankles ached a little imagining this. There were not enough desks, so some tables had to be brought in. The insides of the desks were filthy. Everything had to be sanitized and swept, this done with little resources. We hadn't even received enough materials for every student to have his own pencil.

By the end of the second day the classroom was beginning to look warmer and more inviting. We helped the teacher put things onto the walls and windows. Two days wasn't nearly enough time to get the classroom ready, but we did pretty well with what we had. Other teachers who were more experienced fared better.

Tomorrow is our first day with the children. The building will open at 7:05 AM and the children will arrive 40 minutes later. We have 24 days to teach the children the knowledge they need to go on to the next grade level. For some of them, we will be the only positive adults in their lives the whole summer. Some of them will only eat at school. Some of them will take home food on Thursday for their families that has been provided by another organization. Hopefully for all of them, this summer will be the difference they need to later stay in school, graduate, and go on to college. Only 24 days. I've got the coffee maker set and ready to go in the morning. I pray I am ready.